Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
