hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
