wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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