my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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