I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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