My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
