I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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