tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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