so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
