I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
