when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize