Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
