I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
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In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
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So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize