he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
