I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
