I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
