your room smells of hookers.
And success
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
