DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
no you cant smoke seaweed
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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