Betty ford says i'm here all night
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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