porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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