i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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