I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
