It's like God shit irony all over that family
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
