between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize