I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
