i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
