Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize