....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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