I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
