If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
