Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
