Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
