so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
