Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
