Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize