I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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