how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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