Christians are straight up FREAKS
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So vagazzling was a success
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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