it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
