Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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