seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
