Your dad touched me again.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize