so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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