I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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