My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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