i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
