We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
