Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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