He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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