i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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