Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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