there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
