she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
