The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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