i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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