I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
