why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
