Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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