I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
